


good grief

by fruti2flutie



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crushes, Feelings, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 22:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9261773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fruti2flutie/pseuds/fruti2flutie
Summary: changkyun has a crush on his stepbrother’s best friend. that’s a huge problem.





	1. denial

**Author's Note:**

> so!!! this was actually formatted as a one-shot, but it turns out it's nicer put into chapters!! it's not long at all, only around 5k, so i hope u find it a quick & easy read!!!!! also this is pretty ridiculous so i hope it also gets a few laughs??? 
> 
> i live for changki fyi, i hope u appreciate my flawed sense of humor :-)

Changkyun tells himself that he’s going through a second puberty. That would explain his increased sweat levels, abnormally large appetite, and all these unwanted Feelings. He’s gone through three sticks of deodorant this week alone, which is as gross as it sounds, and has a diet dependent on whipped cream and sprinkles. The Feelings freak him out the most because he has _no clue_ how to expunge them from his body — does he need an exorcism? Where’s the holy water?

“You need to calm the fuck down,” huffs Jooheon, grabbing Changkyun by the shoulders before he can jump into oncoming traffic. “Like, Jesus Christ, it’s not the end of the world.”

Oh, but it _is_. Everything had been fine two minutes ago, when Changkyun was living in blissful ignorance without a care for internal conflicts. And then Jooheon— Lee Jooheon, Changkyun’s wonderful buddy, ol’ pal, _bromigo_ , had made a teasing remark about Changkyun harboring a crush on a certain almond-haired somebody, causing Changkyun to drop his ice cream cone in the middle of the sidewalk and reevaluate his life choices. He’s a go-with-the-flow kind of guy, and this is not the flow he would like to go in.

“This can’t be happening,” Changkyun moans as he drops to his knees. The concrete is scorching hot, but he endures. A stout woman walking her dog makes a big show of picking up her chihuahua and moving ten feet away from them.

Jooheon tugs urgently on Changkyun’s arm. “Dude, _get up_. You’re causing a scene.”

“Says the guy who dialed the ambulance two minutes after entering a haunted house.”

“In my defense, I did not expect them to actually come. I also was running on adrenaline and funnel cakes.” Jooheon successfully pulls Changkyun onto a nearby bench, away from innocent bystanders. He sits next to his friend, throwing an arm around his shoulder. “Is crushing on Kihyun that bad of a thing? I think it’s cute.”

Changkyun furiously shakes his head and insists, “I’m _not_.”

Jooheon raises an eyebrow. “Really? How come you always wait by the door when he says he’s coming over? Or how you’ll ask for his help on homework for the classes you’re acing? Or how about that time you slipped a box of candy into his bag because he said he was craving sweets?” He pinches Changkyun’s puffed out cheek. “The proof is in the pudding.”

“I hate pudding.”

Again, Jooheon gives him a knowing look. “You need to stop lying to yourself, kid. That’s the first step.”

 _Damn it, he’s right_ , Changkyun thinks bitterly. _I fucking love pudding._

However, that doesn’t change the fact that he should not— should _not_ be crushing on Yoo Kihyun.


	2. anger

Throwing things is not a mature way of handling your problems, Changkyun is very aware of this. When he was nine and lost his pet turtle he’d thrown his shoe out the window and nearly knocked Minhyuk, who was walking in the front yard, unconscious. That was a lovely and memorable first impression between the two stepbrothers.

It’s been years since then, and Changkyun loves his stepmom and stepbrother more than anything in the world. Minhyuk is the protective older sibling he’s always wanted, and his stepmom is as caring and thoughtful as Changkyun can ever imagine her to be. He really doesn’t deserve them in his life. They’re angels!

Honestly, how could he have done this to Minhyuk? Changkyun feels horrible. How could he even _think_ to crush on his stepbrother’s best friend? He can’t! It’s _wrong_. Why? Well, it’s— it’s not right, that’s for certain. For some reason.

For starters, Kihyun is older than him. Albeit, not by much. Two years — and, like, two months. He’s practically the same age as Minhyuk. What is Changkyun doing, becoming infatuated with an upperclassman? The president of music club? His _stepbrother’s best friend_?

It’s a telltale sign he’s going to die early. He’s read it in a magazine once, but there were more neon headers and bold text in the one article than there are in Changkyun’s life. Also, it had nothing to do with death. It was called _How Lonely and Desperate Are You? Take This Quiz and Find Out!_ Changkyun read it while waiting for a dentist appointment because they ran out of puzzle magazines.

Anyway.

Changkyun has outgrown throwing things. He’s old enough to deal with his own problems in a mature fashion. Huddled in his blanket he sits in his bedroom, windows closed, blinds drawn, and plays Overwatch until he can’t feel his fingers anymore. (He’s not very good, but that doesn’t stop him.)

Unfortunately, not even the icy walls made by Mei’s blaster can rid Changkyun of his summer frustrations. This is a problem that he does not know how to solve.


	3. bargaining

Kihyun visits Changkyun’s house the following Friday for dinner. It’s almost a regular occurrence: Kihyun is treated like family and loves to eat Changkyun’s father’s cooking. Minhyuk brings him over after they finish club activities, around five, while Changkyun is holed up in his room and being shit at Overwatch.

“Changkyun!” yells Minhyuk, and from that volume he’s down in the living room. “I’m home! Kihyun is with me!”

Accidentally letting his character fall off the edge of the map, making him lose points from his already pathetic score, Changkyun jumps to his feet. “Okay! I’m in my room!” he responds swiftly. He should be a good younger brother and go greet them. He _should_ , but Kihyun is down there and Changkyun’s heart is seriously in danger of beating out of his chest.

Changkyun is too young to have a heart attack! Or, well, whatever he’s currently feeling qualifies as. Maybe high cholesterol.

He decides that it would be totally acceptable to stay in his bedroom and play Overwatch until dinner. Minhyuk and Kihyun don’t come upstairs, probably studying/gossiping — because Minhyuk, straight _A_ student, gets all the gossip while Kihyun, in dire need of completion points, loves listening to it.

It actually gets Changkyun thinking, a dangerous concept. If he had never gotten Kihyun’s help on homework, would his crush on Kihyun be nonexistent? The first time Changkyun asked had been genuine: _hey, Kihyun hyung, you know music history, right?_ to the less than humble response of _I live, breathe, eat, and bleed the arts, lay it on me_. Not the most graceful exchange, but Changkyun got to hear Kihyun’s smooth voice by his ear, smell the strawberry shampoo he frequently uses, see the way Kihyun appears so handsome when he—

“Nope, nope, nope.” Changkyun goes AFK to pace around his room and give himself a mental scolding.

_Bad, Changkyun. Not good. Bad. What the fuck._

“ _Ack!_ ”

Shit, Jooheon is going to kill him. They’re in a team game right now, along with a couple other dudes from Hip-Hop Club. Changkyun hastily returns to his computer and resumes playing. (Fun fact: Changkyun had suggested the name _RUB_ , to embody “rap” and “club.” It was not well received by the other members of Hip-Hop Club.)

As it turns out, though, not playing is somehow marginally better than when Changkyun actually tries. That wounds his pride. He wonders if he can get lessons from Minhyuk later. Changkyun’s stepbro is a Living Overwatch Legend™. (Changkyun had tried suggesting _LOL_ as a shorthand, but was not liked by the League of Legend players in the area. Understandably.)

An hour flies past, and suddenly there are a series of rapid knocks on his door. Changkyun shouts, “It’s open!” as he finishes his game with a heavy sigh. Another loss. Tragic.

“Little brother! Little brother!” The door opens and Minhyuk’s blond head pops in, grinning wryly. “Oh, _there_ you are.”

“This... _is_ my room.”

“Dude, I’m quoting _Mulan_ — it’s the beginning scene where she’s calling for her dog.” Minhyuk expects this to be common knowledge. He also can recite the entire script of _Sleeping Beauty_ , so his Disney trivia standards are pretty high.

“Is it time for dinner, hyung?” Changkyun asks, stretching his arms. His elbow cracks. His _elbow_.

“Yup. Mom just got home from work. Kihyun is setting the table. Dad made some Italian food, so it’s pasta and breadsticks tonight!” Minhyuk pretends to kiss the enclosed fingertips of his hand, making the exaggerated kissy noise to go with it, a gesture he must’ve seen on daytime cooking television.

“Ay, I’m down for carbs.” Changkyun’s stomach growls loudly, and he pats his belly to attempt to quell it. His poor stomach only gets angrier. Minhyuk snickers.

In the dining room the plates and utensils are set, forks and spoons at each spot — there are chopsticks laid for Changkyun, which he can’t help but smile at. Changkyun’s father goes back and forth from the kitchen, putting down pot after pot at the center of the table. There’s some sort of creamy noodle dish, maybe alfredo, and a clear liquid that could either be boiled water or soup. The breadsticks look like they’re toasted nicely and, oh wow, there’s even salad!

Changkyun starts a slow clap. “Props to you, Pops, you have outdone yourself. Bravo.”

“I try,” Changkyun’s father says, taking a bow, as he pulls back his chair to sit. He looks around the table. “Where is the rest of my family?”

“Returning from the powder room!” announces Kihyun, smug. “Miss me?” Minhyuk laughs as Kihyun takes his seat at his left, which is also at Changkyun’s right.

“I didn’t know I had another brother,” jokes Minhyuk.

Changkyun’s father gasps. “The long lost son! Just like the prophecy foretold!” Kihyun chortles, and Changkyun gazes fondly at the expression.

 _No, Changkyun_ , he reminds himself, but Kihyun’s dimples are showing, the ones by his eyes that only appear when he’s laughing with his heart, out of breath and leaning back, and he looks so adorable, so cute—

 _Bad, Changkyun. No. Don’t do this. Kihyun is not cute. Okay, scratch that. Objectively, Kihyun is cute. But_ subjectively _... Shit, he’s still cute as hell. Okay, how about—_

Thankfully Changkyun’s stepmother returns from the bathroom and interrupts Changkyun’s internal monologue. They thank Changkyun’s father for making dinner and dig in. It’s all delicious, melt in your mouth comfort food. Good food in Changkyun’s mouth should keep problematic Kihyun thoughts out of his mind.

Or so he naively wishes.

Changkyun is stuck staring at the pieces of broccoli in his pasta, frowning, back to a mental battle of _what if_ s. For example: If he eats more vegetables, will these mushy-gushy feelings for Kihyun go away? That’s a longshot, but hey. Changkyun could try. It would take some serious consideration for what he puts in his stomach, he would need to cut down his ramyun and snack intake... That’s loads harder than he’d thought.

“Changkyun, eat your dinner,” Changkyun’s stepmother chides. “You’ve been having a staring contest with your alfredo for the last five minutes. You can’t absorb it with your eyes.”

Changkyun’s father nods solemnly. “Believe me, son, I’ve tried.”

Petulantly, Changkyun twirls his noodles with his chopsticks and stuffs them into his mouth. He glares at a broccoli and then eats it, too. He involuntarily shudders — ugh, healthy. It tastes like defeat. He forces another broccoli past his lips and notices a fork appearing in his peripheral vision. It sneakily delivers several strips of chicken, grilled and buttery, to the side of his plate. Changkyun looks up to see Kihyun smiling at him.

“Veggies are good for you.” Kihyun winks and turns back to the conversation with the family to laugh at something Minhyuk had said.

Blushing red, Changkyun eats the chicken, which does not taste like defeat at all. (It’s more like parmesan cheese and olive oil, but he’ll ask his dad about the recipe specifics later.)


	4. depression

Lee Hoseok is Minhyuk’s cousin and therefore Changkyun’s stepcousin. He’s in the same grade as Kihyun and Minhyuk, born early in the year, and feels much older than he actually is. It’s probably because he has his life together. He actually makes an effort to eat healthy, get enough sleep, _and_ exercise. Truly a role model.

Changkyun likes to visit Hoseok’s house across the street when he needs advice, because Hoseok gives really deep words of wisdom and has a habit of stress baking — the products made are a bonus rather than an incentive to stop by, truthfully. Hoseok is very empathetic, no matter what the topic is, and is always helpful when Changkyun needs life lessons. There is also the unspoken stepcousin-stepcousin confidentiality agreement, which assures Minhyuk not knowing a word of what goes on during their heart-to-heart sessions. (Minhyuk means well, but sometimes he needs to tone it down and not spill Changkyun’s irrational fear of jellyfish to Facebook for likes.)

When the front door opens Changkyun is instantaneously hit with the scent of warm vanilla and chocolate, the perfume of the gods. Hoseok, built torso and defined biceps, is wearing panda paw oven mitts and a _World’s Okayest Baker_ apron. He stares worriedly at Changkyun as he guides him to the kitchen, nagging, “Geez, you’re gonna catch a summer cold dressed like that. What’s wrong?”

“I hate myself,” Changkyun says simply. There are two trays of chocolate chip cookies cooling on the table. God, they look tasty. “Can I have a cookie?”

“Of course, sweetie. Take two,” replies Hoseok. Changkyun grabs the two largest cookies and sits. After taking a bite he realizes they’re sugar-free, and a little part of him dies on the inside.

Hoseok drags a chair next to Changkyun, pulling off his oven mitts and folding his arms over the back. “Okay, Mr. Pessimistic,” he begins, “what’s _legit_ wrong? Tell Mama Hoseok everything.”

A cool thing about Hoseok is his uncanny ability to keep quiet while skillfully distorting his expression to react. It’s equal parts respectful and entertaining. Like, when Changkyun admits he _may_ like Kihyun, Hoseok’s jaw drops to the floor and he bites the knuckles of his fist, inhaling sharply. He doesn’t interrupt to call Changkyun a harlot, though, so Changkyun can go on and reveal all his insecurities with ease.

By the end of it Changkyun is close to tearing up (what the _fuck_ ) and has melted chocolate smeared on the side of his mouth. He feels like he’s three and doesn’t know what personal hygiene is.

“So I’m sad,” he concludes. He wipes his mouth, the wrong side, and murmurs, “I need milk.”

Hoseok stands up right away. “Yes, and more cookies,” he says quickly, rushing to the kitchen. He opens the fridge door and takes out a jug of milk. For a full twenty seconds all he does is squint at the milk, which makes Changkyun mildly concerned.

“Hoseok hyung?”

“Oh, sorry, I got distracted. I was checking the expiration date. We’re all good.” Popping a thumbs up, Hoseok pours out two glasses of milk and returns to his seat. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Changkyun drops his head on the tabletop, groaning, “Seriously, hyung, what should I do? I can’t think straight.” Without lifting his head, he rhythmically beats his hands on the table for making a great pun. Hoseok gives him a (pity) laugh. “He’s— He’s just too perfect.”

“Nobody’s perfect,” declares Hoseok, and Changkyun lets out a disbelieving scoff. “Look, you haven’t even given yourself the chance, Changkyun. You’re shutting down the very possibility that he’d reciprocate your feelings. You’re getting too caught up on the circumstances of the crush in comparison to the crush itself.”

“I’m hearing a lot of _you_ statements. I feel attacked.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes. “Be honest with me,” he proclaims, and Changkyun grumbles unintelligibly as he reaches for another cookie to shove into his mouth. “Geez, if you’re gonna be like that... Tell me: why is it so bad to like Kihyun?”

Instantly lifting his head Changkyun is quick to defend, “It’s not bad! Kihyun is wonderful, talented, snarky but also secretly caring, confident, smart... Lots of people have crushes on him.” He sniffles. “That’s the problem, I guess. There are so many others who are more qualified than I am to like Kihyun.”

“Attraction isn’t a job interview, Changkyun. There’s no competition for crushes. It’s all a matter of how you plan to act on it. You’re allowed to like who you like, no matter what others might do or say otherwise,” Hoseok declares. He sips his milk. “Unless we’re getting into the nitty-gritty of ethics and morality, but I’ll gloss over that for now.”

Changkyun bites into another cookie, chewing thoughtfully. “So...” He swallows (and chokes for a second, so Hoseok slides him milk to save face). “So it’s okay for me to like Kihyun?”

“Definitely okay,” Hoseok says. “Are you willing to admit that to yourself?”

Pursing his lips Changkyun mutters, “I will _consider_ it in the near future.” Hoseok moves to take away the cookies, making Changkyun fumble out of his seat and amend, “Okay, _fine_ — I like Kihyun. Happy? Put the cookies back and no one gets emotionally traumatized.”


	5. acceptance

So Changkyun has a crush on Kihyun. That’s happening. That’s a Thing. He informs Jooheon that he’s come to terms with it, resulting in frivolous grade school teasing, and thanks Hoseok for helping him, resulting in a container of freshly baked red velvet cupcakes. It’s clear who Changkyun appreciates more, and it has nothing to do with nepotism.

Changkyun can’t bring himself to tell Minhyuk, not yet. Again, he loves his stepbrother, but Minhyuk can’t be trusted with this kind of secret, especially when he’s so close to Kihyun, too. Changkyun doesn’t need Kihyun to hear that his best friend’s younger stepbrother has a crush on him from said best friend. Talk about embarrassing. Changkyun would never be able to live it down.

Aside from being able to accept his feelings for Kihyun, nothing else in Changkyun’s life changes. He has a solid routine that’s hard to break. He’s more in tune with his emotions, if anything, and he finds himself watching more cute puppy videos at three a.m. If he’s feeling particularly adventurous he’ll throw in some kittens.

Really, Changkyun doesn’t know why he’d made such a big deal out of it. It’s not like he plans on confessing any time soon, because that would require a whole lot of self-confidence Changkyun does not have. He’ll let the other high schoolers have their fun next Valentine’s Day while he inherits Minhyuk’s leftover chocolates. And, besides, Changkyun doesn’t want to make their friendship weird.

Uh, “friendship.” That doesn’t exactly sit right with Changkyun. Not because he doesn’t like Kihyun in a platonic way as well, but because they’ve never really... _felt_ like actual friends, now that he thinks about it.

From the very beginning Changkyun has liked Kihyun in the I-want-to-kiss-you way. Two years ago Minhyuk had invited Kihyun for dinner, wanting to show off his new companion from music club. “You’ll all like him,” Minhyuk had gushed and, well, he hadn’t been wrong.

Changkyun’s heart flipped when Kihyun introduced himself, a slight lisp in his words, hands soft to the touch. Minhyuk bragged about Kihyun’s achievements: his high aptitude for music, shelves of awards from local singing competitions, knack for keeping his locker impeccably organized. Near the end of dinner there was only one dumpling remaining, and Changkyun’s stepmother insisted Kihyun take it. Kihyun did, but when the rest of the family weren’t looking he transferred it to Changkyun’s bowl, holding a finger to his lips and hiding a smile.

If it hadn’t been obvious by now, Changkyun isn’t a very complicated person. Kihyun makes his heart race and his face redden no matter what he does. It’s like he’s close, but not close enough. He makes Changkyun want to be a better version of himself, one who has the strength to believe.

Most of all, having this crush makes Changkyun want to find all the ways to make Kihyun smile, laugh, and say his name fondly, warmly, in a manner that’s different from anyone else.

Yes, Changhyun has acknowledged his crush on Kihyun. Yes, Changkyun is satisfied with his heart’s choice. Yes, Changkyun agrees that this is cheesy as hell and his life is basically a rom-com. Yes, Changkyun can admit this all out loud, but there is still no chance Kihyun is going to find out.


	6. epilogue, :^)

As summer draws to a close the days get darker, chillier. Changkyun’s walk home from school with Jooheon doesn’t have its stop at the convenience store for ice cream anymore — they pick up pastries from a vendor across the street now. It’s always good to support local businesses. The lady gives them more pastries if Jooheon acts cute, which afterwards makes him hang his head and grumble, “The things I’ll do for food.”

Minhyuk comes along, too, because club activities have died down ever since the school festival and he also happens to live in the same house as Changkyun. He’s comfortable talking with Jooheon, given that they’re in the same gym class and have matching personalities. By accident they’ll often make Changkyun the third wheel who’s stuck walking behind them. Changkyun doesn’t mind since he’s a slow walker anyway.

When Friday rolls around, Changkyun skips from his classroom to where he meets Jooheon at the park across the school. He’s not surprised to see his stepbrother, wriggling on the ground, in the middle of challenging Jooheon to a flexibility contest. He is, however, surprised to see Kihyun.

Changkyun is surprised for three reasons:

1\. Not often does Changkyun get to see Kihyun outside of his house. Sometimes they’ll pass by each other in the hallway, wave or high-five. Or, every so often, Minhyuk brings Changkyun along when meeting with his other upperclassmen friends, like for bowling or karaoke.

2\. Kihyun is acting as an enabler in Minhyuk and Jooheon’s contest. He’s squatting, pulling Jooheon’s ankle in an effort to get him to do the splits. From the pained look on Jooheon’s face it’s never going to work, but Kihyun is encouraging him to beat Minhyuk, who is attempting to lift his leg over his head.

3\. Kihyun’s hair is pink. There’s not much else to say with this one.

Minhyuk sees his stepbrother approaching and calls excitedly, “Oi, Changkyun! Grab my leg and help me! I’m so close!”

Changkyun looks at Minhyuk, who is nodding furiously, and then to Kihyun, who shakes his head. Hm.

“No, you are not, and no, I will not. Concede.”

“How _dare_ you!” Minhyuk shouts angrily. “My own brother!” He loses his composure and falls onto his back, kicking his arms and legs like a child throwing a tantrum.

Kihyun snickers, “That ends the contest, doesn’t it? Jooheon is our winner!” He lets go of Jooheon, who instantly topples over and feebly clutches his thighs. “That was a fun! Are we walking now? We’re all heading to Minhyuk’s house for a movie, by the way, Changkyun.”

“I can’t feel my lower half,” Jooheon says soullessly. “I have ghost feet.”

“Sucks for you,” Minhyuk snorts. Contrary to his words he bends in front of Jooheon and slings Jooheon’s arm over his shoulder, placing his own arm around Jooheon’s waist, letting the other boy lean on him as they walk. “And we’re off!”

Changkyun and Kihyun follow behind them, which turns Changkyun’s usual third wheeling into... two third wheels. So two wheels. A pair of wheels. Kihyun talks with him, asking how classes are going and what games Changkyun likes nowadays. Shy, Changkyun does his best to keep up and even asks Kihyun about music club and cooking, a hobby he’s recently found interest in. (They’re so invested in their conversation they almost pass the pastry vendor, but the sound of Jooheon’s high-pitched cutesy voice stops them.)

Eventually they reach Changkyun’s house. Jooheon and Minhyuk go inside first, claiming the urgent need for “medical attention.” Changkyun and Kihyun lag behind, leisurely finishing their pastries. The wind blows through their hair, ruffling the leaves on the trees, and Changkyun realizes he hasn’t even commented on Kihyun’s new look.

“Kihyun hyung!” exclaims Changkyun, and he flushes when he realizes how eager he is.

A bright — read: breathtaking — grin spreads on Kihyun’s face as he says, “Yeah? What do you need?”

And Changkyun is going to blame the heat. (It’s twenty-something degrees from freezing.) Changkyun is going to blame the sunlight in his eyes. (He’s facing the wrong direction.) Changkyun is going to blame the flawed education system. (In some convoluted way, that might be the most plausible.) Changkyun is going to blame his own damn mouth for betraying him.

“I really like you. I really, really like you.”

There’s a therapist out there who needs to take Changkyun on as a client right about now. They would have the time of their lives picking apart whatever the fuck goes through his head.

“Wha...?” Kihyun starts to say, but Changkyun isn’t having it.

“Pay no mind to the brunet who’s backing away slowly. Ignore him. His presence is meaningless.”

“Changkyun—”

“If you need Lim Changkyun he’ll be in the backyard,” Changkyun says quickly. “I’m digging a hole to bury myself in. Bye, hyung.”

The backyard is a horrible escape for the situation, but Changkyun can’t think on his feet and the backyard is only, like, five steps away. He likes his backyard — it’s the closest to nature he may very well ever encounter. There’s a tree, tall and sturdy, in the middle of the yard that he enjoys sitting under when he needs sun exposure. Presently, he doesn’t have any place to go and hide in (the tool shed has spiderwebs in it and smells like cow feed) so he sits by the tree, drawing his legs to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

Well, if that wasn’t the greatest fuck-up Changkyun has made in his short time of existence he doesn’t know what is. He gets about thirteen seconds to let that sink in before Kihyun is standing above him, running a hand through (still yet to be complimented) pink strands.

“Changkyun,” he says slowly, and it makes Changkyun shrink. “Are you serious?”

“Well, I wasn’t _really_ going to bust out the shovel, it’s all figurative, but I’m very tempted to open our shed.” Changkyun squints at the white building, the lock already undone and waiting to be opened — it’s mocking him. Changkyun stands up and punches the trunk of the tree. It hurts, but it’d seemed necessary. “I’m gonna do it.”

As the rational thinker, Kihyun follows and tries to stop Changkyun as he marches towards the shed, but the younger boy is determined. “That’s—” Changkyun has gotten into the shed and is pulling out the shovel, dull and rusting, by the handle. Changkyun looks like he’s in pain touching it. “I wasn’t talking about that.”

“I’m still doing it,” Changkyun proclaims, carrying the shovel out and whoa, are these things always this heavy? Jesus. “You should step back, hyung, only skilled professionals should work with gardening tools.”

“Changkyun, I don’t think you’ve done any manual labor since you were six and building Legos.”

Albeit true, Changkyun does not enjoy how easily his bravado crumbles. He plants the shovel into the grass with his foot, where his spot is by the tree, and is disappointed when it doesn’t go deep enough to stay upright. The shovel tips over and hits the ground with a soft _whump_ , and Changkyun can’t help but think, _relatable_.

Changkyun meets Kihyun’s eyes for the first time since fleeing. “What did you come out here for, hyung? I was— I am serious. About liking you. I meant to compliment your hair, but I goofed.” Kihyun smiles, and Changkyun awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. “I mean, I really like your hair. It suits you, in a woodland fairy sort of aesthetic.”

“Thank you,” Kihyun says, and his smile has stayed on his face for far too long and Changkyun is beginning to feel unsettled.

“If you’re here to make fun of me, I would gladly advise you to think otherwise. Forewarning: I will cry.”

“Is that something I would do?” scoffs Kihyun. Changkyun shrugs, and shows a minute nod. “Okay, wow, I _wouldn’t_. Come on, Changkyun.”

Changkyun grabs the shovel and pushes it into the ground, successfully unearthing a small sliver of dirt. “Then what? What are you here for?” He continues his work on his grave until Kihyun snatches the shovel from him and chucks it across the yard. Impressive, but not welcome. “Hey!”

“Have you ever thought about _my_ feelings?”

Crossing his arms over his chest Changkyun tuts, “Frankly, no. Never crossed my mind.” Kihyun sighs. “Don’t _sigh_ at me.”

Kihyun shakes his head and says, exasperated, “I can’t _not_ sigh at you, Changkyun.”

“Double negative. Now I can’t take you seriously.” Changkyun wants to get back to digging his grave. Kihyun is rudely interrupting him.

“I don’t _not_ like you,” Kihyun insists, and he’s smiling again. Oh God Oh God— Changkyun’s heart is doing some sick backflips right about now. “How’s that for serious?”

“Grammatically incorrect. Be more clear.” It’s a miracle Changkyun’s voice doesn’t crack. His face may be the color of an overripe strawberry, but Changkyun will not stand a prepubescent voice crack at his age.

“I like you, Changkyun. Really, really like you.” Gently, Kihyun places his hand on Changkyun’s cheek and rubs his skin with a thumb. Changkyun bites his lip. “Although I might be regretting it. You’re making this extremely difficult, by the way.”

“That’s who I am, hyung. Cute and hard to handle. You know that already. I am also—”

Kihyun kisses him before Changkyun can get to the self-deprecating parts, which he decides is aptly timed and everything he ever wanted.

 

 

 

 

Together they “finish” digging Changkyun’s grave. It’s the size of his hand, and he can barely fit half his foot in it. Kihyun applauds him for trying, even if the premise was ludicrous in the first place. Changkyun renames it _Grave for Small, Household Pet_. They don’t have any pets currently, but it’s never too early to prepare.

When they head inside the house, Jooheon is sprawled on the couch icing his crotch while Minhyuk inserts _Zootopia_ into the DVD player. Kihyun bounces beside Jooheon, bumping shoulders with him, and the other boy whimpers, “Don’t do this to me, man.”

Minhyuk turns his head at the remark, noticing Kihyun and Changkyun, and exclaims, “Oh, there you guys are! I was starting to worry you got kidnapped. Glad that wasn’t the case.” He opens the main menu for the movie and asks, “Changkyun, can you make some popcorn?”

“You got it, hyung.” Changkyun turns to go to the kitchen, but Jooheon’s sudden outburst causes him trip on air and make nice with the hardwood floor. _Hello, floor, it’s been a while._

“So did you guys make out?”

Needless to say Kihyun starts screaming, then Changkyun is screaming, and they must be blushing from their ears to their toes for more reasons than one. (Continuous screaming takes a lot of air out of a person, actually. Messed up blood flow.) Jooheon is satisfied with the responses he elicits, but Kihyun moves to strangle his neck and something tells him he should’ve been a pinch more subtle.

Minhyuk is eerily silent until he narrows his eyes at Changkyun, who’s crawling away, and snaps his fingers. “Damn, now I owe Jooheon money,” he mutters, and Jooheon beams happily at him.

Changkyun wishes his grave could fit him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  credit @[chiqkihyun](http://chiqkihyun.tumblr.com/post/147397325174/we-are-monsta-xs-dance-god-and-dance-king)
> 
> hmu @[tumblr](http://whateverbroski.tumblr.com)


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